Lower Your Expectations

 
              
E 
You want a guy that's sweet 
C#m 
A guy that's tough 
C#m 
A feminist who likes to pay for stuff 
A 
The kinda guy that gets along with your friends 
B 
Without being attracted to any of them 
E 
A good boy, a bad boy, a good bad boy 
C#m 
A half good half bad half boy 
A 
Loves your brother sensitive but not weak and 
B 
Is a great lover calls your mother on the weekend 
E                       A                               C#m                      
Then you might think that this guy only exists in your mind 
 
Well guess what 
B 
You're right 
 
E 
If you want love 
C#m 
Lower your expectations a few 
A                                       B 
Cause Prince Charming would never settle for you 
E 
If you want love 
C#m 
Just pick a guy and love him 
A 
And if he's got a thing for feet 
B 
Say fuck it, sweep me off them 
 
E 
You want a girl that's nice 
C#m 
A girl that's not 
C#m 
Obsessed with her looks but is insanely hot 
A 
The kinda girl that you can show to your folks 
B 
Loves the movies that you like and always laughs at your jokes 
E 
A real girl, a hot girl, a really hot girl 
C#m 
A brand new really hot real doll 
A 
Wants to impress you doesn't care if you notice 
B 
And only ever uses you to tickle her throat with 
 
E                               A                       C#m 
Then you might think that this girl only exists in your mind 
B 
She's real 
But last week 
She died 
 
E 
If you want love 
C#m 
Lower your expectations a lot 
A                                               B 
You might think your dick is a gift I promise it's not 
E 
If you want love 
 
C#m 
Just pick a girl and love her 
A 
Then whip out your dick and let the 
B 
Girl you love decline the offer 
 
E 
I don't want a neat freak I don't want a slob 
C#m 
Or somebody with bedhead and a dead-end job 
A 
Cause I won't settle for less 
B 
Than perfect 
E 
Want perfect children, a perfect life 
C#m 
Perfect husband or a perfect wife 
A 
But deep down I know 
B 
I don't deserve it 
 
Mute 
But 
 
E 
We all deserve love 
C#m 
Even on the days when we aren't our best 
A                        
Cause we all suck  
B 
But love can make us suck less 
E 
We all deserve love 
C#m 
It's the very best part of being alive 
A 
And I would know 
B 
I'm almost twenty five